This excerpt from The Foxhunter’s Guide to Great Sex requires a note of clarification. I realize that many of you reading this do not chase foxes, some not exclusively and some not at all. The coyote, of course, is now the dominant, and in some areas the only, quarry for many mounted hunters. Then there are the really radical outliers such as Lynn Lloyd’s incredible Red Rock Hounds who not only chase coyotes across those wide-open Nevada spaces but even get on the occasional big cat. At the other end of the spectrum we have the drag packs that chase no live quarry at all. Yet I hear no gripes that these clubs, such as Alexis Macaulay’s Misty Morning Hounds in Florida, are not giving good sport.
But there’s no denying that the critter most associated with “foxhunting” is – are we ready for the obvious? – the fox. Given that, this posting is unabashedly fox-specific, with attendant apologies to all chasers of coyote, bobcat, wild boars, mountain lions, and sacks of artificial scent.
So now on to excerpt number three from The Foxhunter’s Guide to Great Sex: The Thrill of the Chase, Part 1.
Tally-Ho Tip #3:
Embrace the Chase.
Why chase foxes? Why not groundhogs, gophers, beavers, badgers, wolverines, or wombats? Why foxes? Because foxes are sexy. They’re cute, smart, elusive, and tricky. They’ll tease you and play with you, tempt you to come on to them and then disappear in a flash, only to reappear two fields away, grinning slyly and waiting for you to resume the chase. If the hunters don’t mess things up, the fox will give you a long, thrilling run, with twists and turns, near catches and misses. She’ll keep you alert and focused, caught up in the action, every care of the world dispelled, wrapped up in a single-minded mission to stay with her to the end.
Jimi Hendrix immortalized the phrase “Foxy Lady.” Tell a woman she’s a vixen and she’ll take it as a compliment. (Try referring to her using certain canine, bovine, or porcine metaphors and the reaction may be less than pleasant.) It’s certainly not a modern invention that “foxy” is a synonym for “sexy.” It’s worth noting that the Latin word for the external female genitalia is “vulva” and the Latin word for fox is “vulpes.” Etymological coincidence? Perhaps. But maybe two thousand years ago the showstopper at Rome’s Coliseum was Jimus Hendricus wailing out his big hit, “Vulpes Femina.”
The heart of foxhunting, the soul of the sport that makes it so alluring, can be summed up in one phrase: The Thrill of the Chase. And what is it that makes the chase thrilling? Two things: Anticipation and Challenge. Will a fox be found? Will she get up and give you a good run? Can you handle the pace? Can you respond to her cues and guess where she’s going? Do you have the stamina to stay with her until she decides it’s over?
Some folks now use the term “foxchasing” to differentiate themselves from other “hunters” who are out to kill their quarry. It can be argued, though, that those other sportsmen aren’t really “hunters.” If you’re sitting in a tree stand looking for a buck to come within range of your telescopic sight, lured by the salt lick you strategically hung from a branch, so you can nail him with a heart-lung shot from your high powered rifle, you’re not, in the strictest sense of the word, “hunting.” You’re “waiting.” When the moment arrives, it’s over in a split second: BAM! (Sounds like the Gobbler model to me.)
Whether you call it “hunting” or not, chasing foxes is an entirely different sport. On a good day it can go on for several hours, with multiple chases. And, ideally, when it’s over everyone — riders, horses, hounds, and foxes — are all still in one piece, maybe a little tired and sore, but ready to rest up and go at it another day.
Is your sex life about chasing groundhogs or chasing foxes? Groundhogs are easy to find, they don’t run very fast or far, they don’t tempt or tease, they don’t show any pleasure in the sport, they just want it over as quickly as possible and then to be left alone. No chase, no thrill. If you want thrill, you need chase. And for that you need to think like a foxchaser, someone who knows how to Embrace the Chase.
And no creature is more fun to chase than a fox, whether of the two- or four-legged variety. All foxes are hard-wired for the chase. It comes naturally to them. It’s what makes them so alluringly sexy. It’s the chasers who need to learn the ways of the fox and to then respond in kind. It’s about playing the game according to the fox’s rules because, when you’re talking sexy, foxes rule!
© 2010 J. Harris Anderson